Maybe Self Reflection Isn't For You
When I was first scheming this shoot, I was inspired by reflection - not simply the literal kind, but the ever-constant process of self reflection. I can burrow into my own head, chasing white rabbits and digging pits of anxiety and distraction. When I was younger I often wondered how anyone existed with their constant streams of anxiety. Was I the weirdo? The outlier?
Now, I wonder how people exist without their anxious self-reflection. How do they grow? How do they recognise their wrongs? I've watched loved ones spiral in their self-determined identity, unprompted to change nor reflect. People who "double down", grasping to the belief that they are right, and everyone else is wrong - or worse, out to get them, to break them, to constrain them. I think that those people probably circle their own heads, on the brink of re-evaluation. yet missing it every turn. I wanted to portray that moment. My model, @ caitlin.lc, is caught in a self-evaluating circle. Mulling over the mistakes that led her to be sitting alone, a little sad, a little stuck, and a little fed up. The question is - will she reach the conclusion that she needs to change? Or will she let the cycle continue?
By Phoebe Faye on Portra 160
Model - Caitlin Collins